It is said that Bruce Springsteen opened his concert in NYC the night after John Lennon was killed by saying “It is a cruel world that makes us live with the unlivable” I am sure most of us agree with this sentiment. We are bombarded daily with bad news – wildfires, floods, war, famines, unresolved issues related to migration and the economy and so on and so on. Some of my clients themselves deal with what seem like intractable problems – unrelenting chronic pain, profound depression and anxiety, long term grief. What can a therapist hope to offer those in such difficult circumstances?
To answer that question, I would like to reference the movie All Is Lost starring Robert Redford and released in 2013. The film is remarkable! Redford is the only cast member and speaks only 51 words throughout the entire movie. He stars as a man lost at sea. Despite the incredible hardships he faces (storms, capsizing, losing his supplies overboard) he never seems to lose hope. He is resourceful and stoic and faces his situation calmly and courageously.
In fact, the title of the film is borrowed from an observation from E. W. Horning that “when courage is lost, all is lost.”
It has been proven that optimists live longer than pessimists even though pessimists may be more attuned to reality. One could argue that the optimist is more courageous than the pessimist as he/she is willing to believe in a brighter future despite the appearance of darkness. But taken to the extreme this attitude might be called naive and, in truth, being a “pollyanna” does not solve anything either.
I would argue that “pragmatic optimism” is the antidote to despair and a preferable alternative to pessimism. Hope is a close relative to this approach.
Freud argued that there were two pulls in life – one force pulls us forward and one force pulls us backward. It is up to each of us to choose which road we travel. “Pragmatic optimism” allows us to move forward courageously.
So as a “pragmatic optimist”, I am always holding out the possibility that there is a solution that has not yet been found. Perhaps for the chronic pain client, it is cryotherapy. For the chronically depressed client, it may be ketamine. And for the client with unending grief, there is the hope that comes with reengagement with life on a deeper level once the immense pain has subsided.
But don’t take it from me. See how Robert Redford deals with his situation in this unforgettable movie. Stick around for the ending and then, let’s talk!